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One of my first questions when sitting down to write about my father was, “What should I call him?” Throughout the phases of his life, my dad was known by many different iterations of his name - depending on when you met him, you may have known him as Rick, Ricky, Emberado, Mac, Richie, Rich, or Richard. He may have been a friend, a colleague, a rival, or family. But no matter what you called him or how you met him, you knew the same man - principled, loyal, dependable, honest, funny, and kind.

My dad was born in the South Bronx on January 19, 1945. Like so many others, his family went through both high times and hard times during his youth. He developed a short temper and a strong sense of justice, and those who knew him in his early years can attest to the outcome of that coupling, although his irascible nature was tempered by both time and training as an adult. 

He hated school, but developed a lifelong love of reading and writing, evidenced by the fact that he co-authored four books, as well as many unpublished poems, letters, and, my personal favorite, children’s stories featuring mythical creatures called Hugmullies. 

For someone who didn’t like school, he certainly loved learning. Some of my fondest memories involve us playing Boggle, Scrabble, and other word games together, as he fostered my creativity, with his direct influence, of course. Together, we made up songs about buffalo, remixed the theme song to Cheyenne, and created a poster presentation educating my mom on the health consequences of wearing high heels. Our shared love language was knowledge - later in life, we were constantly exchanging emails, the subject lines of which were often, “Thought of you,” “Figured you would like this,” or “Aha! I told you so!” For Christmas, we often bought each other books, which we then borrowed back to read ourselves.

My dad loved sports and westerns - both for the same reason, I think. Through his cowboy heroes and his wrestling, baseball, basketball, and boxing coaches, he saw many principles he highly valued being put into action in everyday scenarios by men he respected and could model himself after:  

• Be loyal to your friends, always.

• Never look for trouble, but always be ready to face it with courage.

• Stand up to bullies and protect others from them.

• Play hard all the time and never, never, never give up.

• Training your mind to be free of anger, hate, and fear is just as important as physically training your body.

• Show people what you’re made of rather than telling them. 

My dad often spoke about his assistant flight commander. who influenced him greatly while they were both stationed in Korea. He credits Staff Sgt. Queen with improving his work ethic and his capacity for compassion, teaching him the values of an Air Policeman, and with guiding him towards opportunities to make a small but valuable difference to people’s lives in a war-torn country when he could not stand idly by. Most importantly, Queen told him, “Every day, try to improve yourself in some way. And every time you return home, be a better man.” 

This, more than any other quote in my dad’s quote collection - and it was a large one - speaks to the way he lived his life. 

He was always striving to improve not only his physical fitness, but his mental, emotional, and spiritual fitness as well. He noticed qualities that he didn’t like in others, and quietly modeled himself to be the opposite. He consistently made decisions by putting my mom, myself, and my brother first. He gave unprovoked praise where he felt it was due, and because he was a man of few words, it somehow meant more.  He spent his career protecting the interests of policyholders of insurance companies that had been declared insolvent - even in his work, he was sticking up for the little guys and making sure the bullies and fraudsters didn’t get away with anything.  He recognized that his friendships from his youth and Air Force years were the greatest friendships of his life, and made a concerted effort to reunite with as many of those friends as he could, valuing their shared experiences and connection over any differences they had. He cherished and respected his marriage to my mother, and the family they created. 

From standing up for his little brother, to volunteering at an orphanage when he was off-duty in South Korea, to always supporting my brother and I, to spoiling his Siamese cat - in the words of Mother Theresa, my father lived out his life doing small things with great love, improving not only himself, but the lives of countless others every day. 

I never had the opportunity to meet Staff Sgt. Queen, but I like to think he would be proud of the way my dad took his words to heart and lived by them long after their days in Korea were over. Now that he has returned Home for good, to his Creator, to his friends and family who went before him…I can say with certainty that he has arrived there as a better - no, the best - man.

-Erica Marcano

Check Out Books Co-Authored by Richard